ABOUT ME

I am writing to you as I sit and look at the water. I see boats, I see a bridge, and my dogs are at my feet. The moment is peaceful. Bodies of water have always been significant for me and my healing. When I was little, my family and I would go to Skaneateles Lake in New York - it was majestic, clear, clean, and the water was ice cold. The experiences on these family vacations created a feeling in me that I couldn’t quite identify as a child but have grown to recognize as I look back upon the memory. This feeling must have been joy. Joy that our family was sharing experiences together. Joy that our family loved each other, and that I was loved.

But as life has it, joy is often met with pain. My first significant experience of such pain happened in the 9th grade when my dad separated from my mom after he had an affair. I was devastated when he left our home where my 5 siblings and I lived. I was drowning in feelings of embarrassment, confusion, hurt, anger, and sadness.

The version of the world that I once saw, the one with a loving family sharing experiences together, became unrecognizable. I was unable to make sense of this new reality or express that I felt ashamed. I had my siblings, but they too were struggling to adapt to our new reality as children of divorce. Through this, I experienced the feeling of wanting to talk to someone when you are hurting. I understand that it is not always easy to communicate your pain.

As an adult, my husband and I felt fear and utter helplessness when our first child was born prematurely, weighing only 3lbs and 1 ounce. Her pain was too much to bear at times. She was so vulnerable, so fragile. Our daughters near death experience at the beginning of life helped me to realize that bad things can and will happen to anyone, no one is immune to loss, or pain.

Pain was met again, head on, when my brother, an amazing cook, a husband, and a father, attempted to end his life. I watched my family suffer through years of trying to understand and rationalize the situation. The moment is frozen in time for me - I can tell you exactly where I was on that day when I heard the terrible news.

I can tell you what song was on the radio and what the conversation I was having with my son was about - he was excited about the new sneakers we had purchased, and we were talking about how fast he will be able to run in them. When I heard the news it was as if time stood still. That is what trauma does to us.

It gets trapped in our mind and our bodies with excruciating detail, like an unwanted time stamp. We must recognize the pain but not let it diminish our joy. For me, joy has arrived in many forms like our continuously growing family, friends that always have time for a chat, professional and personal adventures, and lasting family memories.

Joy and pain are constantly coming and going, they sit side by side. And even with all this happening we are still asked to respond to the everyday tasks and obstacles of life.

But how?

Like so many others, my path was at times painful and hard. From having my understanding of love distorted with my father’s departure to seeing my brother’s life have an untimely end, there has been moments that have knocked me off my path. But there has also been tremendous amount of joy. Acknowledging the pain but focusing on the joy has helped me.

There is a path out of pain, sadness, and loss, for you too. It isn’t linear, but quite fluid, with many twists and turns. Like the bodies of water that soothe me, it has uncontrolled currents bringing new challenges. Despite all this, with conscious efforts, you can lead a life with joy.

Creating joy for yourself is key to my practice. We’ll focus on healing old wounds that may keep you in a state of overwhelm or panic, while reframing thoughts to generate constructive feelings. We will walk through the difficult memories together; YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

I am a licensed clinical social worker ready to sit with you and listen. I have 20 plus years of practice specializing in grief, loss, trauma, chronic illness, and difficulty with change. I have many years of experience using cognitive-behavioral techniques, mixed with a psychodynamic and client-centered approach. I am also trained in EMDR, (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing), a research proven approach to trauma recovery. 

Together we can find your joy and move through the pain.